It's a question that can feel confusing. You feel turned on, your mind is ready, but your body doesn't seem to get the message. If you've ever wondered why you're not getting wet, it helps to know that natural lubrication is a complex process. It involves more than just desire, and many factors can play a role.
Learning what's happening in your body is the first step toward finding what works for you. This isn't about something being broken. It's about learning how your body's systems work together to create moisture.
How Natural Lubrication Works
During sexual arousal, your body sets off a chain reaction. More blood flows to your genitals. As blood vessels in the vaginal walls swell, they push a clear, slippery fluid through the tissue. This is called transudation, which just means fluid seeping through tissue. It's the main source of wetness during arousal [1]. The vagina itself doesn't have glands for this, so this process is key.
Other fluids also add to the mix. Small glands near the vaginal opening, called Bartholin's glands, release a few drops of fluid with arousal. Cervical mucus can also add to the overall moisture. For this system to work well, your hormones, blood vessels, and nervous system all need to be in sync.
When Your Mind and Body Don't Match
Have you ever felt mentally turned on but physically dry? Or the opposite, where your body is wet but you don't feel aroused in your mind? This is a common experience called arousal mismatch. It's when what your mind feels doesn't line up with what your genitals are doing.
This is very common in women. A large study reviewing over 40 years of research found that the link between feeling aroused and the body's physical response is modest in women, around 26% [2]. In men, that link is much higher, around 66%. This means that for women, mental arousal and physical wetness often act on their own. It's a normal part of how the body works, not a sign that something is wrong.
Common Reasons for Vaginal Dryness
If you are noticing less wetness, it could be linked to a number of factors. These can range from hormone shifts to medicines you might be taking for other reasons.
Hormone Changes
Estrogen is a key hormone for keeping vaginal tissues healthy. It helps keep the vaginal lining thick, stretchy, and moist [3]. When estrogen levels drop, wetness can decrease. This is most common during the years leading up to menopause and after. The vaginal walls can become thinner, drier, and less stretchy. Doctors call this vaginal atrophy or GSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause) [4]. Estrogen levels also fall after giving birth and stay low while breastfeeding. Some birth control methods can also lower the body's estrogen levels, leading to dryness for some women.
Medicines
Certain common medicines can have a drying effect on the body's moist tissues, including in the vagina. Allergy and cold medicines with antihistamines are a main example. Some types of antidepressants, called SSRIs, can also lead to vaginal dryness [3].
Lifestyle and Health Factors
Stress can have a powerful impact on your body, including your sexual response. High levels of the stress hormone cortisol can get in the way of arousal and wetness. Not drinking enough water can also play a role, as can smoking, which affects blood flow in the body.
Is It Occasional or Ongoing?
It's important to tell the difference between occasional dryness during sex and a more lasting issue. Dryness that happens now and then might occur if you're stressed or not fully aroused. A lubricant can often help with this.
Ongoing vaginal dryness, however, is a daily concern. It's a key symptom of GSM, which affects about half of women after menopause [4]. Symptoms of GSM go beyond painful sex. You might feel vaginal itching, burning, or discomfort throughout the day. Some women also have urinary symptoms, like needing to urinate more often or getting more UTIs [3]. If these symptoms sound familiar, it's a good idea to talk with a healthcare provider.
Practical Solutions for Restoring Moisture
Finding relief for vaginal dryness often involves a mix of methods, from lifestyle changes to using products made to restore moisture.
Lubricants vs. Moisturizers
It helps to know the difference between lubricants and moisturizers. Lubricants are used during sex to reduce friction and make sex more comfortable. They provide short-term slickness but don't fix the tissue dryness itself.
Vaginal moisturizers, on the other hand, are made for regular use to hydrate the vaginal tissues over time. They work by being absorbed into the skin to restore moisture and make tissues more elastic. For lasting dryness, a moisturizer can provide more comfort [3].
The Power of Hyaluronic Acid
When looking for a good vaginal moisturizer, one ingredient to look for is hyaluronic acid. This is a substance your body makes naturally to hold onto water and keep tissues hydrated and flexible. When used in a vaginal moisturizer, it works by boosting water retention in the vaginal tissues. This helps to plump and rehydrate them, making them more elastic and comfortable [5].
Neycher's Vaginal Moisturizer is made with 10mg of hyaluronic acid to provide powerful, lasting hydration. It also contains lactic acid, which helps maintain the vagina's natural acidic pH (around 3.8 to 4.5). A healthy pH is key for supporting a balanced vaginal microbiome. By addressing both moisture and pH, it offers a complete approach to vaginal health.
When to Consider Other Options
If over-the-counter moisturizers and lubricants aren't giving you enough relief, talk to your healthcare provider. They may suggest hormonal treatments, such as low-dose vaginal estrogen creams, tablets, or rings. These deliver estrogen directly to vaginal tissues and can be very helpful for GSM symptoms [3].
Frequently Asked Questions
Can drinking more water help me get wetter?
While staying hydrated is important for your overall health, it's unlikely to be a magic fix for vaginal dryness, especially if the cause is hormonal. Wetness is mainly a result of blood flow, not just how much water you drink. However, being dehydrated can make dryness worse, so drinking enough water is always a good idea.
Is vaginal dryness permanent after menopause?
Vaginal dryness related to menopause is often a long-term issue because it's caused by a lasting drop in estrogen levels [4]. However, it is very manageable. With regular use of vaginal moisturizers, hormonal treatments, or other options your provider suggests, you can maintain comfort and a healthy sex life.
Should I be worried if I need to use a lubricant every time I have sex?
Not at all. Many women use lubricants to boost comfort and pleasure, whether or not they have vaginal dryness. Think of it as part of your sexual wellness routine. If you are having pain or discomfort even with a lubricant, or if you have symptoms of dryness outside of sex, it's a good idea to try a vaginal moisturizer or talk with a healthcare provider.
This article is for informational purposes only and is not meant to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a healthcare provider before making decisions about your health.
References
[1] Gold, J. M., & Shrimanker, I. (2023). Physiology, Vaginal. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK545147/
[2] Chivers, M. L., Seto, M. C., Lalumière, M. L., Laan, E., & Grimbos, T. (2010). Agreement of self-reported and genital measures of sexual arousal in men and women: a meta-analysis. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 39(1), 5–56. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-009-9556-9
[3] Abraham, C. (2024, February). Experiencing Vaginal Dryness? Here's What You Need to Know. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/experiencing-vaginal-dryness-heres-what-you-need-to-know
[4] Harvard Health Publishing. (2021, August 17). Don't ignore vaginal dryness and pain. Harvard Health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/womens-health/dont-ignore-vaginal-dryness-and-pain
[5] Sobel, T. (2025, January 9). Vaginal hyaluronic acid products: How do they help? Mayo Clinic Press. https://mcpress.mayoclinic.org/women-health/vaginal-hyaluronic-acid-products-how-do-they-help/
